Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

A jean-ius way to stay comfortable? Miley Cyrus leaves skin-tight trousers unbuttoned to drive to lunch
When paparazzi from Flynet spotted that Miley Cyrus’ flies were undone they knew they were onto a series of money shots… and when she bent over so they could see down her top and check out her tits the icing was on the cake.

Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail bought several pics for banana buffing readers to enjoy, employing hack Iona Kirby to describe the scene. Iona Kirby speculates that Miley Cyrus jeans burst open after the star ate too much pizza.

‘We totally lived it up!’ The Bachelorette’s Ali Fedotowsky slips into a bikini on girls’ getaway after engagement heartbreak
When paparazzi from Flynet spotted Ali Fedotowsky in a bikini while on holiday in Cabo they knew they were on for another cash payout from Paul Dacre’s red-blooded Daily Mail.

And sure enough the tabloid picked up a series of a dozen photos, and added a few more from the stash, for banana buffing readers to enjoy. Hack Jade Watkins was tasked with letting the readers know who she is and dug out her copy of OK! magazine to crib some background information. And when Ali Fedotowsky changed her bikini later in the day the story only got bigger.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.