Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

A new glamour queen for SW19: Blonde from Buenos Aires puts Maria Sharapova in the shade
Once again Paul Dacre’s troops have found watching the Wimbledon tennis a little too taxing, reporters Emily Andrews and Colin Fernandez are far too busy checking out the ladies.

And they reckon: ‘Blonde Argentinian Gisela Dulko… won the hearts of the Centre Court crowd – particularly the men – who cheered and clapped her throughout.’

Naturally it didn’t take the cream of the Daily Mail crop very long to find Miss ‘Not just a pretty forehand’ Dulko striking a sultry pose for a glamour shoot.

Pixie Geldof follows in the footsteps of her older sister Peaches… posing in her lingerie for Agent Provacateur
Pixie Geldof delights the Daily Mail by following in her sister Peaches footsteps and turning lingerie model for Agent Provacateur. The newspaper, which reckons ‘Pixie seems to be taking over Peaches’ wild-child crown’ has exclusive shots of Pixie in her undies and quotes from the catalogue to explain that she ‘was styled as a “virgin – rosebud of lip and sweet to taste”’.
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Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.