Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Frank Lampard’s ex Elen Rives unveils the UK’s most ‘innovative lingerie ever’
WAG Elen Rives has revealed her ‘most innovative lingerie ever’ just in time for Christmas and Paul Dacre’s team love it.

The Diamond Boutique’s Limitless Bra, available exclusively at Tesco, may be worn in more than half a dozen ways, which is great for banana buffing Daily Mail readers who are treated to no less than ten photos of Elen Rives in her underwear.

Elen Rives proves there IS life after Frank Lampard with a raunchy lingerie photo shoot
Model and now ex-WAG Elen Rives is proving she has a life beyond footballer ex Frank Lampard by becoming the face of Diamond Boutique, a lingerie range available from Tesco.

And better still the Daily Mail has secured a series of revealing shots to cheer readers through the dark, cold and wet winter days.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.