Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Woman behaving badly: Leslie Ash unveils her plunging neckline on a night out with husband Lee
The woman behaving badly is Leslie Ash, who offers ‘freshly groomed hair and subtle make-up’ and most excitingly for Daily Mail readers, ‘a plunging top’. The walking stick does nothing to put off Paul Dacre’s army of determined banana buffers, with comments keen to suggest Leslie Ash’s condition is the price of vanity.

Thanks to Matrix Photos for giving Daily Mail readers a chance to look down Ms Ash’s top.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.