Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Katy Perry proves just how sexy she can be with smouldering magazine shoot
‘Katy Perry,’ a Daily Mail favourite, ‘shows off her enviable curves in a basque and suspenders as part of a photo shoot for Esquire magazine,’ gushes Diana Pilkington as she shares the best pics with readers.

Smouldering in the pages of the men’s magazine, is quite a departure for Perry; the Daily Mail remembers when she used to dress up as an egg. Paul Dacre’s organ was particularly excited when she snogged ‘“professional geek” Joel Moore,’ for a pop video, ‘even though her most famous song is about kissing a girl.’

Melinda Messenger proves she is fabulous at 38 with sexy new lingerie shots
Melinda Messenger looks great at 38, following Sarah Harding to model Ultimo lingerie.

Naturally the Daily Mail is delighted to brighten its pages with a series of promotional shots in which; ‘The mother-of-three effortlessly models a series of designs, including various shades of pink and a sexy leopard-print set.’

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.