Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Er, Richard Branson… you won’t go very fast with that naked model round your Necker!
The Daily Mail’s Nathan Kay is left in awe of Sir Richard Branson as naked model Denni Parkinson clings to his back as he kite surfs.

‘I only wish I had eyes in the back of my head,’ Sir Richard told the Mail on Sunday. Banana buffing Daily Mail readers have no such problems securing an eyeful.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.