Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

What will she do next? Denise Welch gropes Playboy twin on dancefloor sparking yet another CBB drunken row
The Daily Mail’s Lucy Buckland has been watching Celebrity Big Brother, so the tabloids banana buffing readers don’t have to, and got particularly hot under to collar when Denise Welch attempted to strip Playboy twin Karissa Shannon.

Lucy Buckland has annotated a series of screen shots from the show which show a tactile Denise Welch — famous for going topless and nude –attempts to strip Karissa Shannon as twin sister Kristina looks on. Denice Welch also checks out the Playboy centrefold’s breasts.

What will your long-suffering husband say? Now Denise Welch cavorts topless in the hot tub with 19-year-old Frankie
The Daily Mail’s Andrea Magraph has been watching Celebrity Big Brother so we don’t have to and got particularly excited when 53 year-old Denise Welch cavorted topless in a hot tub with 19 year-old Frankie Cocozza.

‘Wild child’ Frankie Cocozza egged topless Denise Welch on and laughed at her ‘assets’ reports Andrea Magraph, which sounds a little cruel. Topless model Nicola McLean was the spoil sport who ended the fun for banana buffing Daily Mail readers when she provided a towel to cover up topless Denise Welch.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.