Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Feeling the chill? Youthful Demi Moore has a Britney-style wardrobe malfunction
‘Bit nippy?’ cries out Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail as, ‘the cool breeze left Demi Moore looking perky as she headed to a coffee shop with Ashton in Studio City.’

Paparazzi run gossip site X17Online had captured a photo of Demi Moore as she left a coffee shop, with those erect nipples clearly poking through her top. The good news for banana buffing Daily Mail readers is that the paps were happy to share that photo with Paul Dacre’s red-blooded tabloid.

Demi Moore had ‘made a boob of herself’ by allowing her nipples to become erect in front of photographers: ‘She was certainly looking perky,’ salivated Paul Dacre’s organ.

‘I’m more attracted to my wife than ever,’ says Nick Cannon as heavily pregnant Mariah Carey poses for nude cover shoot
Mariah Carey has posed naked while pregnant for US magazine Life & Style, much to the delight of Paul Dacre’s organ which has reached an agreement to reproduce the image nice and large for banana buffing British readers.

And there’s more! Top hack Donna McConnell has gone through the archive and discovered similar pics, the inevitable Demi Moore plus Britney Spears. And it turns out Mariah Carey’s husband Nick Cannon, finds here even more attractive heavily pregnant, an admission bound to particularly excite imaginative Daily Mail readers.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.