Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Olympic gold cyclist Victoria Pendleton loses her lycra in revealing photoshoot
There’s no need to buy men’s magazine FHM, when the best pics are in Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail.

Deborah Arthurs has been brought in to condense an interview with Olympic gold cyclist Victoria Pendleton who has lost ‘her lycra in [a] revealing photoshoot’.

‘Victoria shows off her athletic physique in a basque,’ gushes Deborah, ‘but while she manages to be both fit and feminine, her rivals are not so lucky.’ Click to enlarge!

Babes in the wood: Watch out boys… Agent Provocateur’s new lingerie campaign sees women enslave men to attend their every whim
A new advertising campaign from risqué lingerie firm Agent Provocateur has got Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail hot under the collar, with its ‘women enslave men’ theme.

The tabloid’s Deborah Arthurs appears particularly excited by the thought of ‘flame-haired supermodel Karen Elson as queen of the sirens along with her blonde and brunette “sirenettes”‘ pinning ‘hapless’ males to the floor.

A series of bandage themed images are offered up to delight Daily Mail readers who share the fantasy, which may be clicked to enlarge.
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Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.