Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Big Brother’s little mother Davina McCall parades around the French Riviera in a polka dot bikini
Parading around French Riviera in a polka dot bikini, Davina McCall shows she still has what it takes to get Paul Dacre’s team all hot and bothered.

To the delight of the tabloid hacks, Big Pictures extended their long lens for the Big Brother star, capturing a wide range of Peeping Tom style photos from all angles as Davina McCall, ‘happily flaunted her toned body.’

Davina McCall, 41, shows the amazing results of her Super Body Workout in St Tropez
The Daily Mail’s Lizzie Smith is well known for accusing slim celebrities of having eating disorders, but seems to have a soft spot for Davina McCall, hailing the results of her Super Body Workout (why not buy the DVD?).

Davina wins praise from Lizzie for her ‘enviable figure’ (a stock phrase Smith falls back on repeatedly), and Lizzie Smith loves studying candid shots of McCall on a beach from paparazzi agency Big Pictures.

No doubt it’s writing news stories like this that remind Lizzie Smith of why she’s so proud to work for Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.