Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

‘I never stuffed my manhood…. But Victoria loves me in long johns’: Golden balls David Beckham reveals his underwear secrets
Pictures of David Beckham modelling Armani underwear have sent the Daily Mail news desk into a tizzy as the team feverishly speculates over whether David Beckham is ‘stuffing his manhood’.

Now super hack Lucy Buckland has obtained a copy of the Daily Mirror and discovered that David Beckham has denied stuffing his underwear to enhance his package for the photos. The Daily Mirror scoop is a great excuse for Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail babes to pour over photos of David Beckham in his underwear and share some photos with lady readers.

What’s that you’ve got in your pants, Harry, the week’s laundry?
When Daily Mail hack Andrea Magraph caught a glimpse of Strictly Come Dancing’s Harry Judd on the cover of Attitude she couldn’t believe her eyes and rushed back to the office to share the sexy pics with her red-blooded colleagues.

And it wasn’t just Harry Judd’s six pack that tickled Andrea’s fancy. She couldn’t believe how well filled Harry Judd’s pants were, with a cheeky headline suggesting he’d stuffed some laundry in his knickers. Checking the Daily Mail archive for similar images, Andrea Magraph came across David Beckham (or as Paul Dacre’s organ likes to think of him; Goldenballs) in Armani undies. It looks like Harry Judd is the winner for Andrea Magraph and the Daily Mail team.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.