Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Fresh as a Daisy: Model Lowe goes topless in a racy shoot for Esquire and reveals her admiration for Lara Stone’s ‘massive’ assets
‘In the least suggestive picture from the shoot Daisy Lowe ‘wears’ a red top that has the front panel completely cut out – underneath that she is wearing nothing, but cups her breasts with her hands,’ salivates Marcus Barnes of the Daily Mail as he abuses the latest edition of Esquire… so red blooded readers don’t have to.

The Daily Mail team is delighted to have acquired some topless Daisy Lowe shots to share with readers and when the model began discussing other models’ bodies, Paul Dacre’s organ reached new peaks of excitement.

Revealing her admiration for Lara Stone, topless Daisy Lowe said, ‘She has massive tits. They’re amazing. So perky. Wow.’ And when Daisy Lowe is not topless, she likes to wear sports bras explaining, ‘They usually make my nipples very erect for some reason. My boobs are on the bigger side, so with normal bras all I want to do is take them off.’

Daisy Lowe to swap the catwalk for the centrefold as she prepares to strip off for Playboy
Daisy Lowe, model and girlfriend of Dr Who star Matt Smith is to strip off for Playboy, reports the Daily Mail, and Paul Dacre’s organ could not be more excited.

The red blooded tabloid has gone through its extensive archive and selected its favourite pictures that show banana buffing readers that she is ‘no stranger to stripping off’. Daisy Lowe will appear in Playboy with the blessing of her mother, reckons the Daily Mail, but there is no news on how her father feels.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.