Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

That’s some view you’ve got there! Sid Owen gives his stunning fiancée some admiring glances as they laze on a yacht
Paparazzi from Cruise Pictures have captured a series of intimate pictures of Sid Owen frolicking with ‘his sexy semi-naked fiancée’ Polly Parsons.

The photos, sold to Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail, have certainly got hack Georgina (daughter of Richard) Littlejohn’s blood up.

‘The EastEnders actor, 39, looked mighty pleased with himself as Polly Parsons, 27, showed off her stunning figure in a cutaway swimsuit on board the yacht in Dubai,’ gushed Georgina Littlejohn as she salivated over Sid Owen’s ‘impressive physique’. Georgina Littlejohn read in OK! magazine that Sid Owen proposed to Polly Parsons in Barbados. The pair looked like they were about consummate the relationship in front of the paparazzi, reckons Georgina Littlejohn, to the delight of banana buffing readers back home.

Pregnant Gladiator Amy Guy is a Siren on the beach
Former Miss Wales and Gladiators star Amy Guy has been spotted in a bikini while pregnant by paparzzi from Cruise Pictures arousing the interest of Paul Dacre’s organ.

‘The former Miss Wales, who was undefeated as Siren in the second series of the revised Gladiator in 2008, has been concentrating her efforts on Modern Pentathlon and Polo training since the show was cancelled in 2009,’ the red blooded tabloid reminds banana buffers.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.