Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

‘School bullies called me fat and laughed at my appearance,’ says Lady Gaga as she poses in sexy photoshoot
Lady Gaga has got one over school bullies who made fun of her big nose and curly hair by posing in her underwear for Cosmopolitan, whose public relations team has licensed some of the best pics to Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail.

Lucky hack Sarah Bull gets to cobble a piece together from selected quotes from Cosmo’s Lady Gaga interview, making hers perhaps the easiest job in British journalism… not that banana buffing readers will care.

Alex Reid strips naked to pose as centrefold for Cosmopolitan magazine
Celebrity Big Brother winner, new husband to Katie Price and cage fighter Alex Reid has gone naked for Cosmopolitan, but there’s no need for Daily Mail readers to buy the women’s monthly as their favourite red-blooded tabloid has secured the right to republish the best pic.

The public relations team at Cosmopolitan were more than happy to share the image with Paul Dacre’s organ in return for some free publicity and lady readers may enjoy themselves while thinking of testicular cancer, the cause for which Alex Reid has posed nude.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.