Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

‘I found my wife Brooklyn on  the pages of a swimsuit magazine,’ says Andy Roddick
Wimbledon runner-up Andy Roddick picked his wife, Brooklyn Decker from the pages of Sports Illustrated reveals Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail.

Upon hearing the news the red blooded tabloid despatched hacks Colin Fernandez and Emily Andrews to dig out some pics from the magazine for readers to enjoy. But the investigators didn’t stop there, going on to offer a compare and contrast with Roddick’s former squeeze ‘English rose’ Kim Sears.

A new glamour queen for SW19: Blonde from Buenos Aires puts Maria Sharapova in the shade
Once again Paul Dacre’s troops have found watching the Wimbledon tennis a little too taxing, reporters Emily Andrews and Colin Fernandez are far too busy checking out the ladies.

And they reckon: ‘Blonde Argentinian Gisela Dulko… won the hearts of the Centre Court crowd – particularly the men – who cheered and clapped her throughout.’

Naturally it didn’t take the cream of the Daily Mail crop very long to find Miss ‘Not just a pretty forehand’ Dulko striking a sultry pose for a glamour shoot.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.