Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Michelle Heaton and Adele Silva get liberated for ‘tasteful’ nude photoshoot
Former Liberty X singer Michelle Heaton has teamed up with former Emmerdale star Adele Silva to go naked for Closer magazine, a favourite read of Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail

The red-blooded tabloid’s Sarah Bull was delighted when the magazine’s public relations team shared a couple of nude pics of the girls, who’s bodies she envies. Both Michelle Heaton and Adele Silva reckon they were nervous about doing a nude photoshoot. Adele is working as shop assistant in LA, just killing time while she waits for her career to take off again.

Holly Willoughby admits to spicing up her sex life by wearing nothing under her coat on date nights
The flasher mac brigade will be delighted to read in Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail that Holly Willoughby is an unlikely member of their club, having revealed that she likes to go out naked under a big coat.

The news had excitable reporter Jessica Satherley choking on her coffee as she read all the ‘intimate details’ of Holly Willoughby’s ‘sexual prowess’ in Closer magazine. Amongst other things, the TV presenter likes to wear new shoes ‘during the sex act’ before wearing them in public.

Those who know Jessica Satherley beware. She’s been taking notes.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.