Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Rihanna comes out of hiding after ‘assault’… but she can’t raise a smile
Pop star Rihanna may be recovering after she was allegedly assaulted by Chris Brown, but that doesn’t stop National Photo Group stalking her on a Mexican beach for Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail.

Reports the tabloid; ‘the bikini-clad star has now been spotted looking sad and depressed, her hair covering her face.’

Nevertheless, the image of the 21 year-old in a skimpy white bikini is bound to brighten the days of Daily Mail readers who like the damaged look.

Male fans to mourn as Kate Winslet admits: ‘I’ve lost my naked ambition’
So taken is Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail with nude pics of Kate Winslet, they’ve gone and run the same photo collection twice, but with different commentaries.

Banana buffers are invited to compare and contrast ‘I don’t want to be known for always getting my kit off,’ says Kate Winslet (again) with the more recent Male fans to mourn as Kate Winslet admits: ‘I’ve lost my naked ambition’.

Both revive the same nude photos of Kate. Winslet is shown nude from behind in a still taken from The Reader and topless in Iris and Titanic.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.