Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Curvy Carol Vorderman joins Elle Macpherson by slipping into yet ANOTHER of Posh’s dresses
Having previously wowed Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail with her fat bum, Carol Vorderman has warn a ‘figure-flattering’ dress that shows she has the breasts to match… and nobody’s more excited than hack Lizzie Smith.

Lizzie Smith has spent an unhealthily long time studying images of Carol Vorderman is a variety of dresses, trying to work out which best show off her ‘curves’ and declared her ‘generously rounded’ in a £2,095 grey Carmontelle dress.

With disarming candour, CAROL VORDERMAN reveals how she’s learned to love her big bottom
With ‘disarming candour’ Carol Vorderman invites Daily Mail readers to admire her rather fat bum, in a couple of ‘figure hugging’ dresses. Vorderman invites readers to compare her rear end with those of Beyonce Jennifer Lopez.

Says Carol, ‘We all have, in my family, what we call the “Vorderman bottom” – a sticky out, bigger-than-normal, signature, of the rear variety.’

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.