Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Don’t you wish you’d kept your clothes on, Carla? Provocative photos of Miss Bruni aged 25 are put up for auction
A rather cheeky near-upskirt shot of Carla Bruni, a ‘reminder of her somewhat racy past has propelled her straight back into the spotlight’, is up for auction and Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail is delighted to be sharing the ‘risqué’ pic with banana buffing readers.

‘Another by Pamela Hanson, taken in 1987, shows her smoking a cigarette in very brief white bikini bottoms with white T-shirt pulled provocatively up,’ reports an over excited Katie Glass.

Ooh la la! Bidding frenzy expected for nude photo of France’s First Lady Carla Bruni
Her nipples may be subtlety smudged to spare readers’ blushes, but we can still see what’s getting Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail all hot under the collar. And there’s a second image with no censorship… strange.

Carla Bruni, wife to the French president, posed nude ‘at the height of Miss Bruni’s modelling fame when she was aged 26,’ reports the Mail Foreign Service (nobody messes with the Mail Foreign Service).

1994 being a long time ago, readers are invited to check how Carla Bruni’s aged with the usual long shots of her cavorting in a bikini courtesy of Big Pictures.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.