Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

‘Crazy diets were wrecking my body,’ reveals Sports Illustrated model Brooklyn Decker
When paparazzi agency Splash caught Daily Mail favourite Brooklyn Decker ‘prancing’ around in a yellow bikini, the red blooded tabloid was determined to secure the pics for its army of banana buffing readers.

Paul Dacre’s tabloid team is delighted to see that despite being seduced by ‘crazy diets’ earlier in her modelling career, the star of Sports Illustrated is now in good health. A Daily Mail reporter was sent to the nearest newsagent for a copy of a copy of Self magazine, where they read how Brooklyn Decker used to pray for ‘boobs and a butt’.

Bouncy Brooklyn Decker shows off her acrobatic skills on the beach as she films Just Go With It
It’s not immediately clear who Brooklyn Decker is, she appears to be married to an athlete, but it is clear that Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail is wild for her bouncy tits!

Paparazzi agency Splash caught Brooklyn Decker in a yellow bikini frolicking and turning cartwheels on an Hawaiian beach. She ‘looked good from every angle,’ the red-blooded tabloid salivated.

Checking the Buff the Banana archive reveals that Brooklyn Decker models lingerie for La Senza and is married to Andy Roddick who, Paul Dacre’s tabloid claims, picked his wife out of a magazine.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.