Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Get a bra, Britney! Ms Spears shows too much front in unsuitable white top
Pictures obtained by Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail from paparazzi agency Big Pictures reveal that Britney Spears breasts tend to sag without a bra.

To make matters worse the red blooded tabloid reports that, ‘cold weather, combined with a thin cotton white top, showed her curves.’

Some Daily Mail readers were led to comment disappointedly that Britney Spears’ nipples appear to point in the wrong direction.

Feeling deflated? Britney Spears slips her fast-disappearing cleavage into a frilly bikini
‘Britney Spears has transformed her figure through a healthier lifestyle and a gruelling tour,’ reports Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail. ‘But not all the weight has come off in the right places,’ reveals the red blooded tabloid.

The Daily Mail’s best investigative reporters have studied photos supplied by the Splash and Big Pictures paparazzi agencies of Britney Spears in a number of bikinis and made the shocking discovery that her breasts are getting smaller.

The hacks speculate that smaller breasts is unwelcome side effect of Britney Spears’ attempt eat more healthily and revisions to her exercise regime.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.