Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Million Dollar Body: Hilary Swank, 36, shows off her incredibly flat stomach
When Hilary Swank took a stroll in an itsy-bitsy pink bikini, Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail was left amazed by her washboard stomach… the red-blooded tabloid has always enjoyed looking at women with ‘athletic figures’.

Hilary Swank was holidaying with her boyfriend in Hawaii with paparazzi from Pacific Coast News keeping an eye on things for Paul Dacre’s army of jealous hacks, tethered to their desks in London.

Princess Beatrice looks Bea-utiful after training for London marathon
Princess Beatrice has lost plenty of weight training for the London Marathon and paparazzi from Barcroft Media, Matrix Photos and Big Pictures have been out in force to check out her new bikini body.

And, as always, Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail has been aching to share those pictures with banana buffing readers. The red-blooded tabloid Princess Beatrice was quite upset by ‘unkind remarks’ prompted by the publication of pictures of her looking a little podgy, but these pics of the princess showering off certainly do the business for Paul Dacre and co.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.