Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Silent Witness star Emilia Fox shows off her incredibly flat stomach on beach holiday just TWO MONTHS after giving birth
The Daily Mail’s Sarah Bull is particularly put out after paparazzi photos of Emilia Fox from Big Pictures revealed that the TV star has a ‘flat stomach and enviable curves’ just two months after giving birth.

Nevertheless, the red-blooded tabloid hack was delighted when a wardrobe malfunction saw Emilia Fox’s bikini top dislodged by a wave, ‘leaving her desperately trying to maintain her modesty’. That is to say her tits fell out in full view of the paparazzi. The resulting pics are offered up for Paul Dacre’s army of banana buffing readers to enjoy.

It’s Danielle Buxom: Revealed… the changing shape of Mrs Gary Lineker
When Danielle Lineker’s tits almost popped out her top it was a good day for the paparazzi with snappers from Xposure, Big Pictures and Splash all cashing.

Particularly keen to buy the pics of Danielle Lineker’s breasts was Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail, which put hack Rachel Quigley in charge of examining Danielle Lineker’s tits. Rachel Quigley, who can’t get over Danielle Lineker being almost twenty years younger than her husband Gary Lineker or that Gary’s eighteen year old son George was at his father’s fiftieth birthday party, got to work going through the tabloid’s library of Rachel Quigley cleavage shots.

It soon became obvious to Rachel Quigley that Danielle Lineker was wearing a a more uplifting bra than usual and that this undergarment was almost certainly responsible for her tits popping out in front of the paparazzi.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.