Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Where’s your dress gone, Alesha? Ms Dixon suffers unfortunate wardrobe mishap at Leeds Party in the Park
When Alesha Dixon appeared at Leeds Party in the Park, paparazzi from Big Pictures were waiting in the mosh pit for some upskirt action and were delighted when her dress rose up to reveal a pair of black knickers.

Red-blooded tabloid hack Sarah Bull was waiting at a Daily Mail news desk that has suffered an upskirt drought for some time now. Upskirt shots have long excited Paul Dacre’s organ and telephoto lenses were quickly extended for Alesha Dixon.

Princess Beatrice looks Bea-utiful after training for London marathon
Princess Beatrice has lost plenty of weight training for the London Marathon and paparazzi from Barcroft Media, Matrix Photos and Big Pictures have been out in force to check out her new bikini body.

And, as always, Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail has been aching to share those pictures with banana buffing readers. The red-blooded tabloid Princess Beatrice was quite upset by ‘unkind remarks’ prompted by the publication of pictures of her looking a little podgy, but these pics of the princess showering off certainly do the business for Paul Dacre and co.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.