Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

They haven’t seen it all: Playboy twins bewildered by CBB housemates’ assertion that most UK men aren’t circumcised
Kirsty McCormack, who watches Big Brother so Daily Mail readers don’t have to, has found herself intrigued by housemates Kristina and Karissa Shannon’s graphic discussion of circumcision… with particular reference to Hugh Heffner’s penis.

The female housemates, including ex-Page 3 Girl Nicola McLean, had been discussing cosmetic surgery. Former topless model Nicola McLean told Playboy twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon that circumcision was normal in the US but not in the UK. She then went on to explain what an un-circumcised penis looks like.

‘Karissa and Kristina took it upon themselves to tell the group that it is normal for men to be circumcised stateside,’ says experienced Daily Mail hack Kirsty McCormack, who assures banana buffing readers that despite Nicola McLean’s assertions, circumcision is normal in the UK too.

What will she do next? Denise Welch gropes Playboy twin on dancefloor sparking yet another CBB drunken row
The Daily Mail’s Lucy Buckland has been watching Celebrity Big Brother, so the tabloids banana buffing readers don’t have to, and got particularly hot under to collar when Denise Welch attempted to strip Playboy twin Karissa Shannon.

Lucy Buckland has annotated a series of screen shots from the show which show a tactile Denise Welch — famous for going topless and nude –attempts to strip Karissa Shannon as twin sister Kristina looks on. Denice Welch also checks out the Playboy centrefold’s breasts.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.