Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Now you see them, now you don’t ! The ups and downs of Victoria Beckham’s assets
The Daily Mail’s Ben Todd has delighted banana buffing readers of Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail by pulling together a retrospective of Victoria Beckham’s tits.

Ben Todd’s investigation into Victoria Beckham’s tits involved the ace reporter sifting through the Daily Mail archives to select a representative sample of 22 tit shots dating from the late 1990s to the present day.

Regular banana buffers will recall that not so long ago the Daily Mail’s crack team of Donna McConnell and Simon Cable spent a whole day watching Victoria Beckham’s nipples to see if she was wearing nipple enhancers. So it’s no surprise to see that Ben Todd has included a number of protruding nipple shots alongside the cleavage.

Coronation Street: Temptress Rosie Webster strips off in bid to become ‘new Jordan’
Coronation Street’s Rosie Webster has stripped off in what Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail is describing as an attempt to emulate Jordan. And best of all for banana buffing readers of the red blooded tabloid ITV’s public relations people have supplied some photos for the newspaper’s Ben Todd to annotate.

‘Rosie Webster, played by actress Helen Flanagan, stuns her family when she decides she wants to be the “new Jordan,”’reports Ben Todd. And poor old Ben is stunned too as the episode is to be shown before the 9pm watershed when children may be viewing and Daily Mail readers will have to do their very best not to react to the charms of the ‘Temptress’.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.