Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Rihanna comes out of hiding after ‘assault’… but she can’t raise a smile
Pop star Rihanna may be recovering after she was allegedly assaulted by Chris Brown, but that doesn’t stop National Photo Group stalking her on a Mexican beach for Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail.

Reports the tabloid; ‘the bikini-clad star has now been spotted looking sad and depressed, her hair covering her face.’

Nevertheless, the image of the 21 year-old in a skimpy white bikini is bound to brighten the days of Daily Mail readers who like the damaged look.

Newlywed Fergie takes to the beach as she enjoys another romantic holiday with husband Josh Duhamel
Just weeks after a honeymoon in the Maldives, Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie once again, ‘showed off her curves on the beach as she enjoyed another romantic holiday with new husband Josh Duhamel’.

Paparazzi from Splash captured Fergie for the Daily Mail frolicking in a green bikini. Whey hey!

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.