Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Cambridge University row after students set up tabloid website complete with Page Three
When Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre was in charge of his student newspaper he wasted no time introducing Leeds Lovelies to give his rag a boost, so it’s no wonder he’s got underling Andrew Levy checking out the Cambridge Tab, a student news website that’s attracting readers with pictures of semi-naked ladies… just like the Daily Mail itself.

Like so many Daily Mail features, the Cambridge Tab claims the images are intended to ‘provoke debate,’ but cheeky Andrew Levy clearly suspects that these student journalists are learning from his boss and simply chasing readers.

The question Andrew Levy doesn’t ask, is when will the Cambridge Tab start giving away editorial in exchange for sexy shots?

Revolutionary bikini to make tan lines history: ‘See-through’ swimming cossie guarantees all-over bronzing
A revolution in bikini technology could banish tan lines, reports an excited Andrew Levy for Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail.

The secret is to make the bikini see through, so that UV rays may pass through the material. But while the sun rays can get through to tan the skin, prying eyes cannot… so not really see through at all.

Nevertheless, its a great excuse to show a range of models — men and women — sporting skimpy swimwear.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.