Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

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Confessions of a scarlet widow: Why, just 12 weeks after my husband’s death, I threw myself into the world of casual sex
Amy Molloy, self-described ‘scarlet widow’ and Daily Mail features assistant, continues to brag about her sex life, puffing her book in her employer’s tabloid.

Regular banana buffers will recall that Amy Molloy was let down by the Catholic Church which failed to explain ‘what comes after the death us do part.’

Amy Molloy’s erotic adventures continue to excite Paul Dacre’s organ as she explains how she was ‘revived’ by a one night stand. Now it’s not the Catholic Church that fails Amy, but Molloy’s parents who fail to speak up for their daughter’s morals. Amy Molloy takes this as her queue to have many more similar sexual adventures.

For Daily Mail readers unable to picture the scene, a photo of some models acting out one of Amy’s one night stands is provided.

AD: Buy Wife Interrupted by Amy Molloy
Confessions of a scarlet widow: How I used sex to get over my husband’s death
Daily Mail features assistant Amy Molloy’s new book Wife Interrupted is out today, but her employer has already snapped up the section tabloid readers will be most interested in: her ‘confessions of a scarlet widow.’

‘To whichever man shared my bed that evening I was nothing more than a female anatomy,’ Amy Molloy tells the Daily Mail as she claims to have bedded 27 men in 13 months following her husband’s death. ‘And that was just fine with me.’

An upstanding member of Paul Dacre’s team, Amy Molloy is not proud of her behaviour, but was let down by the Catholic Church which failed to explain ‘what comes after the death us do part.’

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.