Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Roxy’s foxy girl in pearls: Why Bryan Ferry’s so smitten with the VERY blue-blooded beauty 36 years his junior
At sixty, Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre is slightly younger than Roxy Music front man Bryan Ferry, but Ferry’s the one who still has what it takes to pull the birds. And that makes him a source of fascination to the red blooded tabloid.

Investigative reporter Alison Boshoff is dispatched find a story that will justify re-publishing a series of pics of Ferry with latest squeeze Amanda Sheppard. Boshoff’s commentary lacks the erotic charge of her colleague Richard Simpson’s write-up, but banana buffers will enjoy the photos just the same.

Here’s what you’re missing, son: Bryan Ferry, 63, frolics with boy’s ex-girlfriend, 27
Richard Simpson is credited with words and pictures after extending a long lens in admiration of Bryan Ferry, 63, copping off with posh totty Amanda Sheppard, 27.

An ex of Ferry’s son, Isaac, Simpson reckons the younger Ferry might be regretting not saving Amanda for himself. They ‘occasionally break to rub suntan lotion into one another or take an elevator down to sea-level,’ says Simpson.

Sounds like Paul Dacre should call the roving reporter back to London before he gets caught rubbing something inappropriately.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.