Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Another day, another bikini for Abbey Clancy as she slips and slides around Dubai water park
When paparazzi Russell Hales caught WAG Abbey Clancy ‘frolicking with a female friend’ in her pink bikini, he knew he’d made more than enough money to cover his own trip to Dubai.

The pictures were snapped up by Paul Dacre’s ever excited Daily Mail, with stay-at-home hack Chris Johnson left to write up the usual jealous commentary.

Pretty in metallic pink: Abbey Clancy wears hot bikini to go for a boat ride with Peter Crouch
Paparazzi agency Big Pictures opted to follow WAG Abbey Clancy and footballer Peter Crouch around the Mediterranean, leaving the Daily Mail’s Lizzie Smith behind at the office to ogle over the results.

Lizzie was particularly taken by Abbey Clancy’s ‘hot’ metallic pink bikini, worn for a boat ride off Sardinia.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.