Dubai a ‘tacky backdrop’ for Coleen and Wayne Rooney

Sullen silences, a suspiciously enhanced cleavage and the £30,000 Rooney PR stunt that backfired
Burj Al Arab, ‘an unimaginably gaudy and over-the-top Arabian pleasure palace’, has provided a tacky backdrop for Coleen and Wayne Rooney’s Dubia holiday, reports a gutted David Jones, the tabloid hack forced to stalk the pair by Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail.

Alongside paparazzo Stephanie Schaerer, poor old David Jones has certainly drawn the short straw, having to leave a cold, wet late October London and endure a hotel ‘affordable, in this new age of austerity, only to wad-waving British “Arfur” Daley types and Russian spivs with their molls’.

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Meanwhile partner Stephanie Schaerer dutifully follows the couple looking for evidence to support claims Coleen Rooney has had boob job, as Wayne Rooney ‘gorges on overpriced junk food’. Back in London the tabloid’s star columnist, Richard Littlejohn suggests Peeping Toms should be shot (he obviously doesn’t like his colleagues very much).

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