Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Further embarrassment for Tiger Woods as his mistresses compete in ‘beauty contest’ on Howard Stern
Tiger Woods faced humiliation as three of his mistresses — Jamie Jungers, Jamie Grubbs and Lorendana Jolie — took part in a beauty contest on the Howard Stern show… with Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail team glued to the screen.

UK based banana buffers need not miss out as the red-blooded tabloid has captured some choice screen shots to share, with hack Paul Thompson providing the commentary. Jamie Jungers won $100,000 after coming top in the contest.

Helena Christensen steals the show… with the help of some push-up underwear
Retired supermodel Helena Christensen proved she still has what it takes after wearing a push-up bra to a Calvin Klein after party and taking the attention of Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail away from the catwalk models.

‘Earlier in the day Helena looked demure at the Calvin Klein Autumn fashion show, then she slipped on her push-up bra,’ says the red-blooded tabloid as it compares shots from paparazzi agencies Big Pictures and Splash, and revealed ‘a lot of front’.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.