Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

No more the buxom barmaid: EastEnders star Kara Tointon shows off her curves as a lingerie model
Now she’s left EastEnders, Kara Tointon no longer needs to pretend to have had a boob job… but when the public relations team from Asda offered Paul Dacre’s team some shots of the former soap star modelling Michelle For George lingerie, they were than happy to publish the pics nice and large.

Kara Tointon’s relatively modest 32Cs are all that’s required to keep the red blooded tabloid happy.

Leaked Sports Illustrated photos show why Bar Refaeli is the world’s top bikini model
Paul Dacre’d Daily Mail team has obtained leaked photos of a Bar Refaeli photo shoot for Sports Illustrated that the tabloid claims show why she is the world’s top bikini model.

Most exciting for Daily Mail readers, one of the shots shows Bar Refaeli cheekily drop a bikini strap while being made up. Not surprisingly, given that this was a bikini shoot, she wore several bikinis that day.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.