Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre

Zara Phillips gambles with short purple frock at charity poker event… and comes up trumps
‘As a full-time sportswoman, following fashion is the last thing on Zara Phillips’s agenda,’ bitches Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail, proving the point with a series of shots of Zara in possibly the worst dress ever made.

The frock may be tent-like, but it has broken a recent shortage of upskirt shots. The long lenses of paparazzi agency Big Pictures managed to sneak a peek at the Royal thigh as Zara relaxed while watching a poker tournament.

It was new boobs or bust: How Ulrika Jonsson got the cleavage she wanted for 20 years
For twenty years Ulrika Jonsson has longed for new breasts, she tells Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail, and now she has them.

Learn the full history of Ulrika Jonsson’s boobs, from 32AA to FF and back to C while admiring the before and after pics. Ulrika’s primary problem was a lack of elasticity: her ‘awkward, cumbersome, unsightly, heavy, foreboding, unsexy, repulsive’ boobs would fall out of her bra and refuse to bounce back up again.

Let’s hope those days are gone.

Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.