Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is here to help you locate the most titillating content from the Daily Mail, without the fear of coming across something offensive.
Buff exists to show how Paul Dacre has exploited pornography to draw in readers. As Olivia Lichtenstein, the tabloid’s de facto erotica correspondent explains, ‘pornography Read the rest of this entry »
The rise of the ‘squoob’: The cleavage that looks more ‘oww!’ than ‘ooh!’
Squashed boobs are popping out of dresses everywhere reckons Paul Dacre’s Daily Mail, with banana buffing readers’ favourites Carol Vorderman and Christina Hendricks leading the field.
Hack Marianne Power has led the red-blooded tabloid’s investigation of squashed breasts — or ‘squoobs’ as she likes to call them — and concluded that squashed breasts have never been more popular. Not only have Carol Vorderman and Christina Hendricks squashed their breasts so they look like they’re about to burst out of their outfit, Elizabeth Hurley has squashed her breasts and Victoria Beckham’s breasts have been squashed too. Top designer Vivienne Westwood has even designed special boob squashing corsets for those desperate for the squoob look Marianne Power has discovered.
Where’s Austin when you need him… Cringe moment for Vanessa Hudgens as bikini top pops open
When Vanessa Hugdens’ bikini top fell off leaving her topless quick flashing paparazzi from Flynet were on hand to capture the scene for Paul Dacre’s red blooded Daily Mail.
The photos of Vanessa Hugdens topless were rushed to the tabloid’s news desk where top hack Lucy Buckland was on hand to pick out the best pics for banana buffing readers to enjoy. Most excitingly, reports Lucy Buckland, the wardrobe malfunction left topless Vanessa Hugdens holding her breasts to hide them from the photographers. But it’s too late and the extended lenses of the paparazzi follow her as she reassembles her bikini in a kind of reverse strip tease.
Buff the Banana with Paul Dacre is a work of satire that diaries titillating stories from the Daily Mail, so you can go straight there without having to view the offensive stuff.